It was only a matter of time before mushrooms took over our entire food supply. A dear friend sent me a comical text about a new coffee product containing functional mushrooms.
But Doug, you don’t understand. You see, they’re “FUNCTIONAL” mushrooms.
The 21st century humans created the word “functional”. Anything with the word “functional” is supposed to make you think it’s good for you.
Examples:
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- Functional Exercise
- Functional Water
- Functional Furniture
- Functional Workout Clothing
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See how that works? Now try it with mushrooms and see how different it sounds:
“Functional Mushrooms”
Are you hungry for them now?
It is a new coffee product with added “functional mushrooms.” I just laughed, because he is 100% correct! “Functional” is the new “natural.” After all, we all know that bat poop is natural, right? It is also functional, as bats would die if they didn’t poop! It’s all semantics and it is working so well for so many!
Mushrooms are not vegetables. They have their own distinct food category, called “fungus.” Many claim that mushrooms are medicinal, and I believe they may be, especially if the root cause of your illness is fungus. The laws that govern the field of homeopathy dictate that like cures like, so if you are one of the millions (billions?) of people who suffer from fungal or mycotoxin driven diseases, you may discover that “medicinal mushrooms” help you. If you are not, however, I’d avoid fungi, as there exist thousands of research papers on the pathogenicity of certain mushrooms. For me, they are easy to avoid, and I do. But I also acknowledge that certain mushrooms might treat fungal related disorders. I wonder who will be the first to create “woke” mushrooms?
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